Psychoanalysis: the psyche refers to the forces in an individual that influence thought, behavior and personality. The word was borrowed from ancient Greek, which referred concept of the self, encompassing the modern ideas of soul, self, and mind.
Back in the days when girls were supposed to be all sugar and spice and everything nice, we were the clueless angst-ridden rebels who thought it's more fun to defy the norms. Some of us were merely getting back at overly stringent parents, others were just into the identity crisis bandwagon and a few more were just hungry for a sense of belongingness. As for me, I was simply curious.
I wasn't blaming my parents, teachers, the Catholic church, the school system or the government for my actions. I just really wanted to see what it's like and how it feels. I just wanted to have a bit of fun.
Unfortunately, like most 14-year old kids, we weren't very careful. We were impulsive and even boastful... We should have kept our mouth shut and just waited until we were past that juvenile delinquency phase.
Amazingly, it seems that the stigma has persisted amongst our peers even after a decade and a half later. During high school reunions, old classmates would still refer to us as the unruly bunch or the “detention girls” (batang guidance office). They would still look at us like we're still the same “disturbed” kids. Never mind that some of us have become successful in our chosen careers, have turned out to be good parents or are now leading a much more “peaceful” existence.
But I reckon, I couldn't really blame them. After all, everyone at some level are guilty of judging others based on impressions, little knowledge and a few bits of memories of their “wonder” years. We were sort of infamous then for our recklessness -- that's how we are remembered.
I have no regrets though. I had a blast and it was good :-)
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Children often test the limits and boundaries set by their parents and other authority figures. Among adolescents, some rebelliousness and experimentation is common. However, a few children consistently participate in problematic behaviors that negatively affect their family, academic, social, and personal functioning.
Some studies holds that stigmatizing labels generally feed a self-fulfilling prophecy to juveniles, supporting social labeling theory. On the other hand, there are a number of studies and research evidence that says that stigmatizing labels have no effect on juveniles' behavior; some, although very few, even hold that stigmatizing labels actually reduce delinquent acts. It is a "right and wrong" theory. Social labeling theory really deals with how "society reacts to individuals" and how "individuals react to society."
When my friend told me that he and his partner haven't had sex for a very long time because his partner said she just couldn't help but still imagine him having sex with this other woman whom he's had an affair with more than a year ago, I couldn't help but wonder why they're still together.
Why would you cling on to a relationship that has apparently stagnated? How could you possibly still live with somebody whom you absolutely detest? It seems to me that she's lost her trust on him and that she still could not forgive him for his infidelity.
My friend told me that she wouldn't even kiss him and whenever he tries to hold her, she'd make up an excuse about how tired she is, or how her bones are achy, etc. He said at first he thought, she was just punishing him for what he did and all will be forgiven and forgotten eventually. However, now he's beginning to doubt whether she could ever really forgive him and move on with their relationship.
I really don't understand her reasons for not booting my friend out after all this time. I reckon a year would be enough time for anybody to assess their feelings and decide whether or not they should continue with the relationship. I also couldn't help but ask, is it better to be in a bad relationship than not to be in a relationship at all?
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A relationship needs intimacy. Regardless of whether it's a physical intimacy or an emotional intimacy, your relationship will slowly wither and die without it... You cannot create a physical intimacy without the emotional intimacy, nor can you have complete emotional intimacy without the physical aspect as well.
If you can't be intimate with your partner, whether physically or emotionally- or both, you cannot expect to having a lasting relationship with your partner. The reason for this is quite simple. Without the emotional and physical bond between mates, there's nothing to hold onto when things get rough and both partners find themselves feeling as though they've got no anchor to keep them safe in the rocky ocean of life.
Here's another youtube re-post. Sorry I couldn't help it. My honey sent this to me this morning and it made me feel all mushy and cheesy and melodramatic :-)
I've shown this clip to my daughter and explained to her that my love for her is kind of like how mama bear would always want to protect her baby bear. After watching the video, she responded by attempting to lick my face! sheeesh! LOL
The holiday season is fast approaching once again and although this year might not be as prosperous as the previous years because of the current economic crisis that’s affecting everybody, it’s still almost unthinkable to totally forgo Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever it is that you celebrate this season.
So I asked my daughter what she wants to have this Christmas so she dutifully gave me a very long list of what she “needs.” Her list includes loads of dolls, dollhouse (of course!), a mobile phone, DVDs, a trampoline, a scooter (this is a must-have she said) and even a high-tech robot! For the last one, I reckon she must be thinking of the kind that's like a maid that answers her every whim.
I told her Santa Claus couldn't possibly fit all these in her stocking so she suggested that we buy an extra large stocking this year. Now that's ingenuity!
It was my daughter's quarterly examination and I was explaining to her the concept of GAPESA (Given, Asked, Plan, Equation, Solution and Answer) in Mathematics. She understood everything fine, except what she's suppose to write down in “plan.”
She keeps putting the last couple of words in the problem, i.e., “in all,” which doesn't make sense at all, so I told her to simply write down: “Find the sum of ___, or whatever the objects they're supposed to add up. She totally disagree with me because she said she's been writing the same thing ever since and her teacher consider her answers correct. True enough, when I checked her previous assignments, her teacher has indeed marked her answers right.
Of course, I was adamant that she rectify this and told her that my way is more accurate. To which, she started bawling and accused me of trying to “sabotage” her chances of acing their test. No matter how I explained it to her, she just wouldn't believe me.
Now I know what my dad must have felt when he was trying to teach me Mathematics back when I was about the same age as my daughter now. It must have been worse for him because he's a professor of Accountancy and a Certified Public Accountant. Talk about having confidence in your parents!
“Use hidden soldiers to minimize fooling her...” when I scrolled down the text message, the sender explained that this is what this famous personality said in his latest shampoo advertisement (translation: Use Head and Shoulders to minimize falling hair).
I admit I find it amusing, although I do feel a tad guilty for laughing and sometimes even making fun of this myself. It's weird though because English is not really our native tongue. Yet we regard those who are fluent in English very highly. There are times when we even equate one's English proficiency with his intellectual quotient.
In the past, I have met and become friends with many people who are not very articulate in English, but who are nonetheless just as sensible, talented and smart as the next English speaking guy. They may have trouble expressing themselves in English but if you ask them about their philosophies in life, or you watch them build or create something so intricate or beautiful or fantastic, knowing full well that they never had any formal training or education – now that I reckon, is more impressive that somebody who can speak English with an American, Australian or British accent!
I know it has something to do with this “colonial mentality” again, but I reckon we should also try to be less critical and be more open-minded. After all, some of the more developed countries like Japan, Singapore, South Korea, France and Belgium aren't native English speakers. In the end, what we do is more important than what we say or how we say it.
In western culture, it’s quite acceptable to move out as soon as you’re 18 years old (sometimes even younger) and put your parents in homes when they’re old. In the Philippines, these are considered almost taboo.
You only move out when you’re job requires that you relocate or when you get married. Although it’s not uncommon to still live with your parents or in-laws even when you’re already married because of the difficulty of obtaining a house, unless you’re in the upper class bracket.
However, you’re also expected to repay your parents for giving you food, clothes, shelter and education, particularly if you have finished a university degree. You pay them back usually by helping out with the utility bills and/or sponsoring a brother/sister’s education. Sometimes, you even end up shouldering everything, which is why some people never marry or only settle down when all their siblings have already graduated from college.
This is one of the reasons why Filipinos are considered very family-oriented. Yet this mentality may also bring out feelings of resentments -- Parents who are still “taking care” of their children even when they already have their own family resents the fact that they’re still working hard (sometimes even harder because of the additional grandchildren and son/daughter-in-law) to support them. Similarly, children who ended up shouldering everything, lest they be considered ungrateful after everything that’s been given to them, likewise feel bitter and frustrated.
Is this really a choice or are we merely unfortunate because our government could not afford (only because of the prevalence of graft and corruption) to help us out? In other countries, where the unemployed, disabled and those who are earning below the minimum wage, are given housing and subsidies for basic necessities, it is so much easier to just move out, establish a family or just do whatever you please without having to worry about whether your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. are eating at least 2 or 3 times a day.
Western countries may think that to still be living with your parents even when you’re over 30 years old is ridiculous. In the same manner, we are appalled when they would send their elderly parents in homes, even if these homes are akin to hotels with private nurses and caregivers. We frown at each other’s ways and practices, yet should the circumstances be reversed, I wonder if everyone would still maintain their ways…
Thankfully, typhoon “Pepeng” (international name: Parma) seems to have gone in another direction so what was feared to be yet another super typhoon didn’t do as much damage as the typhoon Ketsana.
I couldn’t say the same however for those areas that was directly affected. I’m just hoping that we don’t lose any more lives. It’s bad enough that this country, being a third world country, is already dealing with so much sh** on a daily basis even before these calamities have hit us.
So many people are saying that this is probably a wake up call for us -- so that we should be more disciplined and caring of our environment. If only everyone would actually realize that. However, when I hear news about people stealing and taking advantage of other people’s misfortune, it just makes me feel sad, frustrated and even pessimistic.
I am nonetheless proud of how in the face of adversities, there are still more people who are willing to lend a helping hand. Many would even risk their own lives to save other people. If only we would remain solid, selfless, compassionate and vigilant even after when this tragedy is over, I’m sure we could gradually recover and even progress.
I am still an idealistic fool I suppose, but you never know…
Efren Peñaflorida gives Filipino youth an alternative to gang membership through education. His Dynamic Teen Company's 10,000 members have taught basic reading and writing to 1,500 kids living in the slums.
Last Saturday, just before typhoon “Ondoy” hit the nation, a drunken man stabbed my friend’s brother, Aris. They attempted to save him but it took awhile before they could find a tricycle driver willing to bring them to the hospital. But by the time they arrived at the hospital, it was too late. He was pronounced dead on arrival.
He just graduated from university with a degree in Bachelor of Science in Nursing and was just waiting for the date of his licensure exam. Sadly the notice of exam came in too late as well. His family received the notice of exam on the second day of his interment.
What was this man’s motive for killing him? -- After he’s been apprehended by the authorities, he confessed that he overheard him commented on something or someone that stinks and thought he was referring to him. Hence, he stabbed him.
He’s now in jail awaiting his trial, but my friend and her family could no longer bring back the life of Aris. His long-term girlfriend has been inconsolable. We’re all still shocked and furious of how anyone could have so little regard for human life.
I know that all over the world, things like this happen all the time. I’m worried for the people I love and for myself. I’m saddened with the way some people could have so low morals because of their egocentricity.
B. Department of Health (Medicines and/or Medical and Humanitarian Missions)
Dr. Virginia Ala
Chief, Bureau of International Health Cooperation
Department of Health
Attn:Ms. Noni Balbino, Chief, Technical Division
Tel:+(632) 781-2843
Fax:+(632) 781-8843
US ased drop-off points:
A. New York
NAFCON (Nat’l Alliance for Filipino Concerns)/SANDIWA Nat’l Alliance of Fil-Am Youth are now receiving relief donations (clothes, blankets, medical supplies, monetary). NY drop-off @ BAYANIHAN Filipino Community Center, 40-21 69th St. Woodside, NY 11377. Call (516)901-1832 or email sandiwa.national@gmail.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it if you would like to help.
B. New Jersey
Drop-Off Points: 1) Sinugba Cafe – 561 Westside Ave. Jersey City, NJ 07304 2) Casa Victoria – 691 Newark Ave. Jersey City, NJ 07306-2803 You can send CASH through Metro Bank acct. 3 189 14540 1 For BAYAN’s “BALSA” (Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan)
For donations in New Jersey please contact: (201)621-3156-Yves Nibungco (917)476-7855- Nick Cordero
C. Los Angeles
In Los Angeles area please contact Kuu Hilo (818)395-9207. You can send CASH through Metro Bank acct. 3 189 14540 1 For BAYAN’s “BALSA” (Bayanihan Alay sa Sambayanan)
D. San Francisco/Bay Area
For donations in San Francisco/Bay Area, please contact Ryan Leano (626)534-4971. Monetary donations can also be dropped off at these sites. Checks can be made out to “Lakasdiwa,” a non-profit organization that will send the funds directly to MIGRANTE International in the Philippines, a workers’ organization directly helping the victims in the disaster relief efforts. Please put “Typhoon Ondoy Relief” on the check’s note.
Filipino Community Center 4681 Mission Street San Francisco, CA 94112
Asian Pacific Islander Youth Promoting Advocacy & Leadership Attn: Armael Malinis, AnakBayan-East Bay 310 8th Street, Suite 215 Oakland, CA 94710
Stanford’s Pilipino American Student Union (PASU) is also collecting donations to be sent to the Philippines to help victims of Typhoon Ondoy (international name Ketsana). If you would like to make a donation, please contact AV David at avhdavid@stanford.eduThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or (650) 491-4561.
An atmospheric disturbance manifested in strong winds accompanied by rain, snow, or other precipitation and often by thunder and lightning | A strong or violent outburst, as of emotion or excitement: a storm of tears | A violent disturbance or upheaval, as in political, social, or domestic affairs: a storm of protest |v.intr. To blow forcefully | To precipitate rain, snow, hail, or sleet | To be extremely angry; rant and rage | To move or rush tumultuously, violently, or angrily: stormed into the room |v.tr. To assault, capture, or captivate by storm |idiom: take by storm
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